I'm sitting here listening to Coop giggle and laugh.
Amazed at how easy it is for him to find joy in something.
I think about how I love to laugh.
I don't laugh as much as I used to.
I want to be happy enough to laugh when I want to. I feel like I don't let myself laugh and giggle when my heart tells me too. It's like I am telling myself... STOP! Don't be happy! DANGER!
If I'm not happy then I can't get hurt. I won't be disappointed.
I hate this about me. It's not the real Katie. Katie is loving and fun and a big ole GOOF! Just ask my family. I think they miss Katie. The person I am is not me.
You know those dumb scifi movies were aliens take over bodies and take over the world???
I feel like that sometimes. Like my body is being inhabited by some cranky, sad, downer alien.
Satan got to my ex and broke up an eternal family. And now he is trying to break me. He uses my heart break and trials to bring me down.
NO WAY!!! Not happening MR!!!
I'm done feeling like this!
I'm going to laugh!
Right now!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! (Im really laughing)
And one day my fake laughter will be genuine and I will be able to smile when my heart tells me to.
Life is so fragile.
Short.
IMPORTANT!!!!
Looks like you've had this blog for a while! I'm glad you have a place to share what your going through and help find yourself again. Always remember #1...YOU ARE A DAUGHTER OF GOD! Let that be the main thing that defines you. My dad made some good points to me the other day. Most people have many things that define themselves, such as work, family, friends, possessions, etc. Some of these things are good and some maybe not so good, but if we put the most important thing that defines us it should be My name is Katie and I am a child of god...and then...I am a great mother, sister, daughter, friend who loves to laugh and sing, etc. Does that make sense??? I have been trying much harder since then to look at myself and #1 see myself as child of God. I think it has really helped me change the way I look at myself, as well as others. Anyway, I just wanted to share my dads wisdom wih you. Love you #2!!
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