Dear Father......

I teach the valiant 12 class in my ward and I have learned SO much since I started teaching. I feel like I have been the student and the spirit my teacher. I will admit that I have not been the teacher I could and should be. I wait till the last minute sometimes to get my lesson ready. And today I studied the wrong lesson. I really must try to do better. I am a instrument for the lord to teach these kids the things they will need to make it back to our Father. Maybe that sounds a bit dramatic but primary teachers are more then just babysitters.

Today the lesson was on the dedication of the Kirtland temple. What a great lesson! At one point I asked the kids what they thought it meant that the temple was dedicated. One boy raised his hand and his response was, “to be dedicated means to care enough about something that you don’t give up, you keep going.” It wasn’t the answer I was looking for but it was the answer I needed.

Am I dedicated to the thing the thing that are important to me? Do I give up? At times… Yes. What I mean is that I, just like the majority of the world go through my own ups and downs. But I feel like I have more downs then ups when it comes to my dedication to things.

No more! I’m going to be dedicated in the things that are important to me, first and fore most in my religion and beliefs. I am a daughter of a divine God. My Father in heaven has blessed me dearly to be born into the one and only true church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I have been given gifts to help me through this time on earth and I don’t feel like I have used them as much as I need and should. I am going to communicate with my Heavenly Father more. I always have a prayer in my heart, especially since Cooper’s dad left. Prayer is the main thing that has gotten me through these last few months and it will be what keeps me going. And while I have little prayers always in my heart I don’t always take the time to kneel in prayer and communicate with god. I would be heart broken if I knew cooper was having a hard time or needed someone to talk to and he didn’t come to me. I think that’s the way God must feel when he sees me going through so much and I don’t talk with him. There have also been times when I have hurt so badly and the tears would not stop and all I wanted was to talk with someone who could truly understand my pain and let me know that they were OK. I would think that even though others have had their spouse leave them and then have to go through such a terrible thing as divorce, but they still couldn’t feel exactly how I feel. Oh how I was wrong. There is someone who felt every little pain and disappointment I feel. My Savior went through all that pain and MORE for me… for you. I feel like a baby sometimes when I realize I have gone through So many nights with my tears and loneliness. I didn’t have to feel so alone. If I would have just picked myself out of my self pitty party and knelt in prayer my tears would still be there but the loneliness would have been long gone.

I know also that through prayer and communication with god I will recieve help int he other areas I am weak in. I will kneel in prayer each morning, night and any other time I feel the need to communicate with my loving Father in heaven.

Katie