The last few days have been SO hard for me. Cooper has been with his dad since Friday and my heart has been breaking since he left. It's hard to have my baby away from me. I try to relax and have fun but it's not that easy. When you are a single mom and the only love you feel is the love you get each morning when your child comes shuffling down the hall and that smile stretches across that sweet face because he sees his momma. Or when I get a simple sweet Hi momma or a hug, I melt. That is the deepest love any woman can feel. The love between a man and a woman is so different then the love between parent and child. and since I don't have the love of a man the love from my Coop keeps me going. So honestly when he has to be away from me I feel terrible.
I have been told by others who have gone through divorce and are surviving the wonderful world of visitation that it will get easier to have to be away from my baby. But I just can't understand how. I almost feel guilty that I could enjoy my time while he is away. And I really can't imagine my heart not breaking each time he drives down the road with the man who broke up the family I thought would be together forever. It's just SO messed up.
I know I have a lot to get through in this life. And I need to remember all of my many many blessing, but right now I am feeling sorry for myself. I'm tired of hurting. I just want to forget about that man sometimes.
But my dedication to prayer and communication with my heavenly Father has got me from Friday to today. I am loved and that love has gotten my through so much.
Katie
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